HALO 3 SPOILER ALERT: You know how at the end of Halo 3 when it looked like everyone but the Admiral was dead and you saw the numbers “117″ scratched into the memorial and then you got that message from Bungie on your TV and your heart just totally sank? Yeah, well, I thought about doing that… just to draw things out. Maybe I’d have had you guys read a “So long and thanks for all the fish!” message or a whole bunch of fake credits before I let you know everything was going to be okay. But you know what? That’s really mean! Do you hear me, Bungie people?! I’m talkin’ to you! I was so sad at the end of Halo 3. And then I had to watch all the credits (”For the Horde!”) chewing my nails with my heart in my throat and then finally I saw things were okay.

*sob*

Ahem.

Anyway… Chuck Norris has saved the day. Of course he has. Come on. He’s Chuck Norris.

It be talk like a pirate day, mateys. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, yarrr.

Today I be sittin’ at a red light, and a wee lass in a Honda Accord rammed into me rig. She left ‘er mark on me stern.

Now I be havin’ a second license plate on me carrrr that’ll be easy to read when I be going to the parallel mirror dimension next week, yarrrr…

I hied meself to yon emergency room an’ they rayed me neck with the X. No fractures fer me, but I got a goodly stash o’ benzodiazepine fer the pain to use tommora…. Yarrrr….

Also, I be workin’ on yon HAFT plot summaries and character profiles which ye can access by clicking HERE.

YArrrrr… ow.